You know that bitch.

The friend of your lady, a girl‘s friends, the “girlfriends”, or colloquially WHORES.
These fuckers, I hate. Trust me, there’s not many things on this planet in which I hate; dislike yes, but hate, very few. These women are a threat to men everywhere! Whether you’re a single man, or one in a relationship, even a guy that’s a swinger- these females are the enemy, and like semen inside vaginas, MUST BE ELIMINAAAAAAATTTTTEEEDDDDD!!!

This should be a normal sight

These women are worse than other horny males in this world, trying to hit on your woman. Instead of a man, trying so hard to go out his way, to charm, and sweep your girl off her feet, then pleasure her sexually, the “girl’s friend” does something even more sinister! SHE STEALS YOUR WOMAN EVERY TIME, AND DOESN’T EVEN FUCK HER :-O <—What’s the point?! At least do something!
“But sir Rich, how are they more vile” well hoe, I’m glad you’ve proposed a question as such, answer:

Situation: Convincing 

Typical woman thirsty guy: Will brag about possessions to make you his, result: unless she’s a whore, failure.

The girlfriend (your girls friend): Will convince you (the girl) that she just saw him making out with another woman, and having sex in the street, while asking for directions, result: BREAKUP!

Now you’re probably asking yourself “where is the mention of a guy’s friends” – well, you see…unlike women, us straight guys, aren’t gay. We don’t have friends. Sure we may say “that’s my boy, nigga, pal, man, mans, homie, G etc…” but what that really means is…he’s another male, that I know, whom is on the same mission as me, and won’t FUCK my shit up. A guy’s friends (whatever that means) doesn’t have enough (no not care) idiocy floating around inside him, to screw relationships up. Sure there’s time when “he” can end up screwing your woman, or w.e – but that’s about it (which sucks, even though he most likely played your wing man) – he’s not going to screw up your chances with the other women, give you an itch you can’t scratch, or stain reputation for life! No, he won’t, why? Because he’s too busy trying to get his- whilst helping you (or banging your ex). 

Back to the TGF-

No matter who the fuck you are, or how much mountains of self-esteem/self-respect you carry, the “girl’s friend” will have an impact on you, and fellas…SHE WILL FUCK SHIT UP!

I’ve compromised some quick responses/actions to do, if you are ever confronted by the “girl’s friend”

*note TGF = the girl’s friend, GF = your woman, You = well, you, you superstar you!!! ❤

TGF: You can’t suffocate her, let her come out 😀

You: Bitch gtfo, stfu!

This > the club with Bffs

TGF: Hey, can you come out a little later to pick up your GF- pretty please 🙂

You: I’ll Be there in five minutes. I am going to scalp you.

Sluts in the city

Situation: You’re speaking on the phone with girlfriend, she is asking your permission on something, then suddenly, TGF takes phone, and starts to speak.

Action: Three way nearest police station.

TGF: Hey, we’re going to this little get together with (your girlfriend) just to let you know.

You: Oh? Let me hit you back a little later, getting this crazy blow job right now lol.

You see, TGF isn’t looking out for you, hell, she’s barley looking out for your woman. If it comes down to TGF (remember this means -the girl’s friend) having fun, and getting no penis, to your woman having fun, and getting YOUR penis- TGF will make sure the 2nd fling, wont happen. They don’t care that you crave your woman at times, they just need your woman, like they need their purse.

Another thing, don’t be this guy:

That guy: Hey can I tell you a secret

TGF: Definitely, hold on, let me tell your woman to put the phone on mute, whilst she listens on three-way.

Yeah, things such as: Cheating on your boyfriend

If you know who the – TGF – of your woman is, do not speak any truths to her. You’re better off not talking with her period.

Another piece of advice to suppress these bitchesssssssss, is to remind them just how much, you are viciously having sex with their bestie (your woman) every night. And as SOON as you find out that they have some liking towards you- DON’T EVEN BLACKMAIL THEM- SEND THAT FUCKING MAIL TO YOUR WOMAN ASAP!! See, the object is to get them out the way, no besties, best friends, or bffls. I’d rather you have a best friend that’s a male model for Marc Jacobs, as straight as triangle, sleeping naked, on top of you- as opposed to a female best friend.

From other men, to STDs, sick pets and mother’s being mothers- nothing cockblocks more, than those dreaded Girlfriend‘s friends. At the end of the day LADIES, the question that begs to be answered is:

WHO ARE YOU FUCKING?! Who is the person that you love, like no other on this Earth?

Take it in blood my good friends, and like my woman would say

Peace peace.

-S. Rich


About Oil Underneath

I drink glasses of cold water.
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