I’ve been push to points where I felt alone, but I’m not. That’s the thing that upsets me the most. Coupled with the following months, it’s unhealthy. It takes one moment to just obliterate all my happiness; here I am building up walls of merry, and cheer, now comes the cold war to put a stop to all my production. I give up. When someone keeps telling you you’re wrong, and you constantly try to find other ways of “fixing” said problems, only to turn into the same rubbish, it hurts. I can’t afford to be hurt, because I’ve been taking enough scars, and by all means I do not look down on scars. But why get cut if there’s nothing to learn from? All these invalid, irrelevant, an unjust battles are tiring. I’m tired. If I’m the only one accepting faults, then I want out. It cuts deep, and buying band-aid after band-aid, has finally become a waste of my money. Go ahead, make your words the truth. If that’s what you really want, I’m game. I’m down for the next chess piece to be chucked off the board. I accept defeat. Let me know what exactly you want, and I will take your offer, and make it double your expectation. I submit, because what more must I fucking do. Maybe I really am the problem, maybe you’re right; everything is my fault, then go on right ahead…go on your way. I’m not in the business of dissatisfaction. I’ll meet all demands, at this point, I don’t care, not because I genuinely lack care, it’s because I can’t. Every time I try, it seems I fail. No more failures alright?
I thought I needed water, but it seems my thirst never needed quenching. Dehydration comes to those who stand pretty like flowers, waiting for some liquid, eventually wilting. I’m that flower…..
I’m just not as pretty as you are, or he is. Consider me gone. Hope your wishes are fulfilled. I’m going back to my sweet nothingness.